Gone Too Soon

Just about 30 mins. ago, Brittany pulled out of our driveway to make the long trip back to college.  I woke up this morning  around 4:30 AM reminded that this was the day she'd be leaving.  I couldn't fall back to sleep because all of the memories we've made over the past 3 months that she's been home came flooding back. I'm so going to miss her and how much fun we've all had together.

I have been feeling pretty weepy for the past several days.  Blame it on hormones or just plain ol' momma heartache. I mean, this letting go business stinks!  Until you've walked the walk, you really can't understand how much it hurts.  Oh, you're happy for your child to be stretching their wings and learning to become more independent.  That's exactly how it's supposed to be, right?  However, keep in mind that for 20+ years, all I have ever really known is being a stay-at-home mom.  All of my wants and needs have taken second fiddle to those of my girls...and I simply wouldn't have it any other way.  Still, it does come as a kick in the teeth when your child leaves the nest.  They're home strictly as a visitor and no longer as a full-time resident.  It's so very different.  I keep thinking that in just a few short years, I'll be an "empty-nester".  What will I do with myself then?  Guess the Good Lord is the only one who knows the answer to that one. 

After I rolled out of bed in the wee hours of the morning, I put pen to paper and wrote Brittany a letter, just as I always do when she's about to leave for college.  I sat there and bawled with every word I wrote...it was bound to happen!  As she gathered up her last few belongings to take to her car, I handed her the letter.  We hugged each other tightly and stood there and cried together for a moment or two...it couldn't be avoided.  She assured me that we'd talk often on the phone and have Skype sessions, which I always look so forward to.  Bless her heart, she felt so overwhelmed by the thought of having to unpack and set up her apartment without our help for the first time.  She decided she wanted to do everything on her own and as much as I wanted to try and convince her, otherwise, it wasn't my place.  I have to let her experience life to the fullest...and that sometimes means that I'm not a part of it. 

We hugged once more, then she got in her car to leave.  We waved goodbye and I watched her drive away.  That sight is something I don't think I will ever get used to.  I completely lost it when I went back inside the house.  It's tough when you don't know when you'll see your child, again.  It's doubly hard when you know that you can't make everyone like them and you can't protect them from all the difficulties and hardships that life throws their way.  All you can really do is PRAY and turn it all over to God.

After Brittany left, I went back upstairs to make sure she hadn't left anything behind.  I went in my bedroom and found a note she'd left for me sitting on my alarm clock.  Every time she leaves, she writes a note for Chris, Abby, and me to find once she's gone.  Her words warmed my heart and will help get me through these next several months. I'm already anticipating how wonderful it will be when I get to see her, again. Sure going to miss that girl of mine!                

Gone Too Soon...

I have come to the conclusion that this letting go business is for the birds!  There, I said it! If I had my way, I wouldn't have a single thing to do with it. Everything would remain completely unchanged and  that lump in my throat that keeps popping up when I least expect it would be gone for GOOD!  Unfortunately, though, LIFE just isn't that simple. You see, when your kids go away to college, they do return, but only as visitors. They don't, generally, come back to stay for long.  They have BIG DREAMS to chase after...not to mention boyfriends!  

Now, Britttany was home for one glorious month! We had the best time EVER!  Lots of late-night talks and sharing of secrets.  Oh, and who can forget the laughter because we never fail to find something to laugh about!  Well, on Tuesday night, she got into the mode of wanting to pack up her stuff.  Pretty good idea, I suppose, since she left yesterday afternoon. However, I was still in a state of denial.  Surely, she wasn't ready to leave just yet!  I mean, classes don't even start until the 17th...what's the hurry?  Oh, trust me, she was in a hurry alright!  She HAD to get back to see the boyfriend...Connor, remember?  The one who gave her Tony's Creole Seasoning for Christmas.  Oh, brother!  Well, she was in one happy mood, I tell ya! She was dancing all over her room! Me?  Not so much.

Here's what our kitchen looked like yesterday morning when she brought all of her "stuff" down to take out to her car. What fun she must have had unpacking it all!

She, of course, had to give Bella some last minute lovin'.

And Maddie had to give her one last SLURP!

Now, this is the part that gets a little tricky. All morning long, I had been doing fine.  Not a tear fell from my eyes...miracle of miracles!  Then...Chris and I walked her to her car and the flood gates opened wide.  As soon as we embraced to say our goodbyes, I was a babbling mess!  I could hardly utter a single word. What nearly did me in is when Brittany started crying.  She's never really done that before, but this time was different, for some reason.  Oh, how I hated to see her leave!

She hopped in her car, backed out of our driveway, and in a matter of a few seconds, waved goodbye and she was gone.  I couldn't have run fast enough to catch her if I'd tried...though I thought about it!

I walked back in the house...QUIET house...to find that she'd left this note for me, as she always does. I cried some serious crocodile tears, believe me!

I LOVE being a mom, but being an expert in the art of letting go...probably never going to happen.

A Brand New Start

Hello, friends!  I tell ya, having such limited time on the computer is the PITS!  I just feel like I've fallen so far behind on my blogging and it frustrates me.  As most of you know, my main reason for blogging is to keep a journal of our family life for my girls.  We did some things this summer that I definitely want to share with you as time allows.  Chris is still looking for employment.  He's continuing to get lots of interest, if only we could find the right company to have him sign on the dotted line.  Oh, I know it will happen, but I'm beginning to get a little antsy.  I have to constantly remind myself that God is in control, not me.   

Well, my girls are both back in school.  Abby started HIGH SCHOOL on Aug. 8th!  I know, just doesn't seem possible!  Bless her heart, she has to get up at 5 AM every morning in order to catch the bus at 6 AM.  On top of that, they just changed her route, so she has to ride the bus for an hour and 15 mins. in the morning!  The good part about it is that she's the second stop off in the afternoon, so she gets home at 2:35 PM.  She's able to navigate around her school of nearly 4,000 students with little or no difficulty.  She seems to enjoy all of her classes and teachers, with Biology being one of her favorites.  She recently got hard contacts, as I may have mentioned, and has had a difficult time finding a pair that fit correctly.  We picked up her  3rd pair last week and they fell out when she was at school and couldn't find them anywhere.  They run $155 per contact!  Thankfully, her eye doc. is going to give us a replacement discount.  He doesn't think they fit her eyes properly, so he's put in an order for a pair of custom soft contact lenses.  Sure hope those work out!  I think she looks so much older without her glasses... 

   
We helped Brittany move back to college on Monday.  She moved into an apartment just off campus with two track runners who are, also, in their sophomore year.  It's a 3-bedroom apartment and each of the girls have their own bathroom, which is nice.  They have a family room, a full kitchen, and a laundry room. I think she's going to like it much better than living in a dorm room...it feels more like home.  Having to say goodbye to her this time around was a little easier than it was last year, though still difficult.  For those of you who've been through it, it's like when your child moves back home from college your heart gets fooled into thinking that they're home to stay.  So, it's a shock to the system when reality hits you in the face and you realize that they have to leave, once again.  What makes it easier for me this year is knowing how excited she is to be back in college...especially now that she's no longer running for them.  I think this year and the next years to come will be much brighter.  Here's a few pics. of apartment bedroom.  I think it turned out cute.

Of course, I couldn't resist having our picture made together before we said our goodbyes.  Yes, I cried, but I held it together as best I could.  I'm just going to miss her so much and probably won't get to see her until late October. One-day-at-a-time...that's all I can do!

           
So, my house has grown pretty quite these past several days.  That's always the hardest thing to get used to.  However, I'm just trying to stay positive and focus on all the blessings I've been given.  I've always said, "What doesn't break me will only make me STRONGER!"

Until we meet, again, my friends!

She's HOME!!!

Oh, happy day!  Yesterday afternoon, Brittany came home from college for the summer!  I've waited for that day to arrrive for 9 LONG months!  Of course, she brought lots of "stuff" home with her. This is what our kitchen looked like when we brought all of her belongings inside...

Kind of resembles one of those hoaders' houses, doesn't it?  I'd completely forgotten how much "stuff" she had...I dare not even mention the SHOES!  That girl would give Imelda Marcos a run for her money!  We had to carry all this mess upstairs to her bedroom, which took several back-breaking trips.  We both worked into the evening getting everything unpacked and put away. I had to find a place to store everything that she doesn't need right now, which was a challenge in itself.  By night's end, we were EXHAUSTED!

After the girls and I got our showers, we plopped down on the sofa, side-by-side, to watch "Dancing With the Stars", which I'd recorded. Chris walked by and noticed how I was looking as happy as a clam with my girls sitting beside me, just like old times.  So, he decided to snap our picture.

It's probably not one of our better pictures, but who cares?  We're finally TOGETHER, again, and as far as I'm concerned...nothing else really matters!  

The "Q" Word

Do you ever reach the point where you want to just throw in the towel, wipe your hands clean, and call it quits? Oh, I've certainly been there many times! Now, it's Brittany's turn to be faced with these difficult questions. Care to lend me an ear?

As I mentioned before, Brittany's cross country/track coach was let go back in the fall. A new coach was hired a few months ago. Since that time, things have gone rapidly downhill and I think we've reached a breaking point. When the former coach left, it caused a MAJOR division on the team. I can't go into all the details, but several of the girls were very bitter that he got let go and blamed other girls on the team for it happening. Needless to say, with Brittany being the newbie, she got tossed in the middle and made to feel as though she had to pick sides. She has tried her best to remain neutral.

Well, since the coach's departure, 5 girls have quit the team and about that many guys. Two of the girls left just yesterday, only 2 days after their first track meet of the season. I must be honest, I saw it coming. Brittany has been keeping me well informed of everything that's been going on; we just didn't see it happening that quickly.

Brittany has been pretty unhappy with the new coach since Day 1. I have learned that she's not the only one...everyone on the team feels the same way. They are required to practice every single day, including weekends, at 6:45 AM, then they have afternoon practices everyday, as well, from 3:00-5:30 PM. He even makes them practice for 2 hours on the morning they leave for meets, which is usually 10 AM. They have no days off and no days to recover. This is quite a change from the way the other coach ran the program. All the runners are completely exhausted and burned out. They have to follow this strict schedule and, also, keep up with their schoolwork. They truly have no time left to catch up on their rest, much less have any kind of social life. It's as though their coach has made running the #1 priority. Now, I completely understand that they're getting paid to run, but at the same time, their rigorous schedule has caused these runners to lose their love for the sport...it's become a drudgery.

All of the team is going in as a unified group this afternoon to talk to the coach. Brittany has talked to him by herself already, but nothing changed. He told her the main reason he's scheduled early morning practices is so they won't stay out late. I'm sorry, but that's what college kids do! They have their entire lives ahead of them to work and to meet deadlines. It's as though the coach is denying them the opportunity to make the most of their college experience. Chris and I would hate to see her running career come to an end like this, but we simply cannot have her be miserable. She has never been a quitter with anything she's decided to do and we've always taught our girls that once you start something, finish it. However, I think she's come to a crossroads where she's asking herself if it's really worth the pain and heartache to continue on. Whatever she decides to do, she has our full support.

If you would, say a prayer for Brittany that God will give her some direction in this matter. I love this quote and think it's very fitting for the situation we're facing right now.

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."~Bessie Anderson Stanley~

So, it's not about the trophies and ribbons or record-breaking moments that define you a person. It's the happiness you've attained in yourself...and nurtured in others that makes the difference.

Tomorrow's THE Day!

Hi everyone! I know I've been a terrible bloggy friend this week, but Chris has been home, which is quite a rarity. So, I've been trying hard to spend as much time with him as I can before he has to hit the road, again.

Tomorrow is a very big and exciting day for me! We're leaving for Mobile to spend the weekend with Brittany AND to celebrate Abby's 14th birthday as a family! I've been looking forward to it for so long...7 weeks, to be exact! Sure can't wait to give my girl a hug, again!

I'll update everything when we return! See you soon! :):)

TRIUMPH!

It's beyond amazing where a pair of running shoes can take you when you couple them with hard work, determination, and the will to win! Well, on Saturday, Brittany laced up her Nike's, along with her college teammates, and competed in the Memphis Twilight cross country race. It was the largest nighttime cross country meet in the South. Chris, Abby, and I waited nervously for the phone to ring for an update on how she ran.

Finally, the phone rang around 11PM and we all jumped! Chris and Abby got on one phone and I got on another. Brittany sounded almost giddy...GOOD sign! She told us that she set a new PR of 19:02! WHAT??? I could hardly believe it, so I asked her to repeat it just to make sure I'd understood her correctly. Yes...that's the fastest time she's ever completed a 5K in since she's been a runner! I can't begin to tell you how thrilled we were with what she'd accomplished! All she kept saying is, "I am so HAPPY!" She placed 50th out of 256 runners! Sure wish we could have been there in person to celebrate with her!

I have a very strong feeling that this is only the beginning of more record-breaking moments! The sky's the limit!

Life's Ups and Downs...

Abby has been wearing glasses for a very long time. I think she got her first pair when she was in preschool around the age of 4. She was diagnosed with a severe case of astigmatism. Now that she's soon-to-be 14, she's expressed interest in wanting to try contacts. Well, this all started about a month or so ago. She's tried about 4 or 5 different pairs of contacts, but none of them have worked. The last pair fit perfectly and were stable, meaning they didn't move around on her eyes. However, her vision would be fine one minute and go blurry the next. Her eye doctor told us she's never seen anything like it before. She said it might mean one thing if she was having the same issue with her glasses, but she sees just fine with them. She said she's tried nearly every matrix out there to find the right contacts for her, but we haven't had any luck. She told me yesterday that she was going to send out an e-mail to some of her friends who are, also, eye doctors to find out if they have any other suggestions. I just wish it was an easy fix so that Abby could have a pair of contacts to use if she'd like a change from her glasses. Hopefully, we'll hear some encouraging news from her doctor by the end of the week. Isn't she a cutie?

Brittany is continuing to adjust to college life. She's so sweet to call me just about everyday, and you have no idea how wonderful it is to hear her voice! I do think she's getting a little stressed out. She has to run every morning at 6 AM (8-10 miles), then goes directly to an ice bath. Yes...an ICE BATH! Brrrr! It helps the muscles recover quicker, but it sure sounds painful to me! Then, of course, she has classes and another workout in the afternoon. In the evenings, 4 days a week, she has study hall for the freshmen athletes from 7-8:15 PM and on Tuesdays, she has to attend a meeting for the athletes. She doesn't have much time to unwind. I try to remind her that she has my love and support and to try and find time each day for herself...even if it's only 30 mins. I know she'll find her way...just wish I could help her a little more than I'm able. It's a learning process for us both!

Our air conditioning upstairs has been out for a couple of days, but, lo and behold, our AC man came out today and fixed it! I felt like doing the "I've got COOL air, again!" HAPPY DANCE, but I refrained! :) Sure makes me appreciate one of life's little luxuries!



P.S. I forgot to mention that Abby was chosen for the select ensemble chorus group that she auditioned for...YIPEE!!! I'm so proud of her! Look out, Broadway...here she comes! :)

Taking A Detour...

I'm finding that after being absent from the blogging world for several months, I've become almost overwhelmed with everything I want to share with you. I know I promised to finish telling you all about our trip to Hawaii...and I WILL! Guess I just feel the need to throw in a few "extras", if you will, along the way. Otherwise, my mind is bound to forget, and I certainly don't want to take any chances of that happening!

I'm still adjusting to the fact that Brittany has moved away to another state and I'm not quite sure when I'll be seeing her, again. We talk on the phone just about every day and text each other fairly frequently. However, I'm slowly learning to allow her space so that she can enjoy this exciting time of independence for all it's worth. That's been a very difficult thing for me. The mother in me wants to do everything for her and make her world PERFECT. Brittany was really wanting to get involved with the Baptist Christian Ministries on campus. Back in my day, it was known as the Baptist Student Union and I spent a good amount of time there. Well, unfortunately, her practice schedule conflicts with the times that BCM meets, which was discouraging for her. So, I went online and searched for local churches that have college ministries. I found one that's only 4.5 miles from her college. So, I requested information from the church to be sent to Brittany. Yesterday, I received a very nice note from the Minister of Students there and he wanted to give Brittany a call and invite her to an event tomorrow that over 100 college freshman will be atending. They'll have the opportunity to check out the church and learn about what it has to offer them. I was beyond thrilled, so I'm hoping (and praying!) that Brittany will make plans to attend. We all know that college can be an incredible time of self-discovery, but it can also be fraught with countless temptations. Being grounded in FAITH gives you that coat of armor to remain strong!

I can hardly believe that Abby's an 8th grader this year! Will I really have to go through the high school years, again, so soon? Don't know if I'm quite ready for this! She loves all of her teachers and declared that science continues to be her favorite subject. She is still involved with her school chorus and recently auditioned for an ensemble group that's a lot like "Glee". She said she was very nervous during try-outs, so I guess we'll have to wait and see if she made the cut . We're keeping our fingers crossed because that girl loves to SING! Here she is on her first day of school (Aug. 9th).

We really have had so much fun together this summer! Probably because we knew that our time together was fleeting. I ended up taking a bunch of pictures...and I'm so glad I did! I'll let the pictures tell their own story...

Ahh, sweet memories...I wouldn't trade them for the world!

My Heart Will Go On...

Hello, again, everyone. I'm going to attempt to find my way back into the world of blogging after being gone for so long. I just needed that time with my family, so I hope you understand. I have missed each and every one of you...and it's good to be back!

Well, this past weekend, we moved Brittany 5 1/2 hours away to college in Mobile, Alabama. It's a day I've been anticipating and to some extent, dreading, for a very long time. The past month or so, we've spent making lists and buying a variety of items for her dorm room. Seems like one trip to the store would only lead to another and another. We put all of our purchases in the guest room closet, but after awhile, they spilled out into the corner of the room. As moving day got closer, Brittany and I would look at everything we'd bought and shake our heads saying, "Daddy is going to kill us!" Poor Chris...he had absolutely no idea!

The day before her move, Brittany and I went into her bedroom and started packing up everything in her room. I could feel that lump in my throat growing larger with every shirt we folded and every picture frame we tucked neatly away in a box. I was trying so hard to put on a poker face so that I didn't fall to pieces. I don't know what happened, but out-of-nowhere, something sparked a memory or stirred up an emotion I'd been trying hard to ignore...and I completely lost it. I had reached a point where I could no longer hold my emotions back. I took one look at Brittany and she started crying, too. Oh, we were such a mess! We embraced each other and held on tight for what seemed like an eternity...neither of us wanting to let go. It was only the beginning of what was to come.

Here's some of Brittany's belongings all ready to go. We packed her car with all sorts of stuff, too!

I'm so thankful I was able to keep my emotions in check for a decent picture with my college-bound girl!

Here's the Bell Tower, which is one of the major landmarks on campus.

Brittany decided to put a lot of her favorite pictures all over her closet door.

TA-DA...here's the finished product! I think it turned out pretty cute, considering the limited space we had to work with. It was a long, exhausting process, but so worth it! Brittany loves her new living quarters...and that's all that really matters!

On our last night with her, we took her out to dinner at one of her favorite restaurants, Olive Garden. She kept looking over at me asking, "Mom, are you going to be alright?" Of course, I'd nod my head and assure her that everything was going to be just fine. Well, we took her back to her dorm before a cross country meeting that she had to attend and she wanted to know if we'd like to meet up after her meeting, so we made plans. She called us on her cell phone and we went back up to her room to say our goodbyes. She reached out and grabbed Chris by the neck and hung on for dear life. I took one look into her eyes and the tears poured! She, then, took hold of me and gave me a big hug and we cried together. I didn't want to let go. She wrapped her arms around Abby and kissed her on her forehead. She walked us out to our car and gave each of us another hug. I told her I loved her so much...and she said the same to me. Then, I said, "Goodbye, hon"...and she turned and walked away. Getting in our car and leaving her behind was, without a doubt, one of the HARDEST things I've ever had to do. I wanted so badly to turn right around and take her back home with us, but I know it wasn't meant to be.

When we got home late yesterday afternoon, I walked upstairs and peeked into Brittany's bedroom as I passed by. It about took my breath away. I'm so used to seeing all of her belongings tossed on her bed or on top of her dresser. Now, everything seems too neat and in it's place. The smell of her perfume is even still lingering in the air. I just feel that any minute, she's going to come bouncing through the garage door asking, "So, Mom...how was your day?". This is all going to take a lot of getting used to, that's for sure. People tell me that it gets easier as time goes by, so I'm holding onto that with all my might. But, for now, I'm going to allow myself to cry if I need to so that the healing can begin. I sure do miss my girl, but this is her time to SOAR and to find out who she really is. I don't know...maybe, just maybe, this is my time to soar, too.

National Signing Day!!!

Finally...the wait is over! Yesterday, Brittany signed the "Official Letter of Intent" with the University of South Alabama in Mobile. She was awarded an athletic scholarship to run cross country and track. We are so excited AND relieved that a decision has finally been made! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders! The Univ. of South AL. just seemed like such a perfect fit for her. She was very impressed with it from the moment she stepped on campus. All I really wanted is for her to be happy wherever she chose to go...but it's a HUGE bonus that she'll be only about 25-30 miles from where we'll be moving! She'll be having an official signing party at her high school within the next week or two, so I'll be sure to take lots of pictures. Thank you all so much for your support, encouragement, and prayers during this stressful process. I can't tell you how much it meant!

A REAL Picker Upper!

Here lately, I've been stressin' A LOT! As you already know, Brittany is in her senior year and there is so much to take care of with her planning to head off to college after graduation. I truly had no idea exactly how much "stuff" was involved...denial will do that to a parent! Anyhow, I bet I've spent the last week and a half sitting in front of the computer researching colleges, their cross country programs, e-mailing coaches back and forth, filling out college and scholarship applications and recruiting forms, etc. That explains why I haven't been posting everyday as I had been...just isn't enough time in the day right now. I'm so ready for the decision about where she'll go to be made so that this huge load can be lifted from my shoulders. Unfortunately, we still have awhile to wait, I'm afraid. For those of you who haven't been where I am yet...buckle on your boot straps real tight because stressful times are ahead!

Now, with that being said, I received such a nice package of goodies the other day from my sweet friend, Ruby Red Slippers herself! I recently won a giveaway that she had and I was, oh, so thrilled! I'm not the luckiest person around, you know! Let me just say that it couldn't have come at a better time! Nothing quite like a little "fun mail" to ease your troubles away, right?

Here's what all she sent me... She sent me a really cool tote back from her home state of Michigan. A handmade bar of soap that smells clean, fresh, and downright yummy! A recipe card for making a pastry from Michigan's upper peninsula, a pamphlet that tells all about Mackinac Island, and a booklet of fudge recipes. All I can say is...they're TO DIE FOR! You can bet that these goodies made my stress level go WAY DOWN! Thank you, Ruby Red Slippers, for making my day and for lifting my spirits!

Well, Brittany has another cross country meet tomorrow, so we'll be heading out around 6:30 AM to meet up with her...the team leaves today. We're really hoping that the girls put up some good times! Would you believe that rain is in the forecast? So many people are still in such bad shape with all the flooding in the area...pray that the forecasters have it wrong.

Guess that's all from my little corner of the world. Please know that I haven't forgotten about all of you...I'm just trying to stay afloat , literally! Have a super weekend!

P.S. I just noticed that I've lost 4 of my followers. I don't know if it's because I've been a bit of a slacker lately or not, but please understand that I have to take care of my family, first and foremost. They are, and will continue to be, a top priority in my life. Hope you'll decide to come back...whoever you are! :)

On An Emotional Rollercoaster!

The reality is beginning to hit me square in the face...Brittany will be graduating from high school in only 8 short months. Try as I might, there is nothing I can do to stop it. Time marches on.

This week, I've spent a huge amount of time filling out athletic recruiting forms for her. This Saturday after her meet, in fact, we'll be meeting with the head cross country coach at a university here in Georgia to discuss a possible athletic scholarship. Though I'm super excited about it...part of me still wishes it wasn't so. I want to just bury my head in the sand. Ahh...if it were only that easy, but that isn't how you deal with LIFE. You have to face things head on...and with a lot of faith, support, and perseverance, you're able to accept and deal with whatever LIFE throws your way.

Yesterday, I sent in the order for Brittany's yearbook ad. Over the past few days, I've looked through piles of photos in an attempt to find the perfect ones to put in the yearbook. The memories came flooding back. The day I brought her home from the hospital and how escstatic I was to, finally, be a mother! Oh, and then there was her first dance recital and how she looked like a little angel up on that stage. There were pictures of Christmases, vacations, birthday parties, and so much more. That was a hard enough task, but then I had to write a 50-word paragraph to go along with them. How do you possibly compile all of your feelings and emotions for your child into one small paragraph? Every time I attempted to put words to paper, the tears began to flow and I'd have to stop and compose myself. All sorts of raw emotions came to the surface. Have I told her enough over the years how proud I am of her and how much she means to me? Have I given her enough hugs, kisses, and pats on the back? OK, see...I'm crying, again! The logical side of me knows that this is really only the beginning of many wonderful things that will happen. However, the emotional side of me isn't ready to let go...not yet...not now...not EVER! I can promise you that this journey I'm now on is one of the hardest things I've ever been faced with, and I've been through a lot in my life. Then to think that I'll have it to do all over, again, when Abby graduates in only 5 short years!

As I sit here, I think about all the things I'm going to miss the most when Brittany goes away to college...
*Her infectious laughter and her silly sense of humor.
*Our early morning talks before school.
*Making sure she's awake every morning, even if it is 5:15 AM.
*Hearing her bolt in the house after practice asking, "Hey, Mom, what are we having for dinner?"
*Having her come to me for advice.
*Going shopping together and out to lunch. She loves Chick Fil-A as much as I do!
*Cheering her on at cross country and track meets.
*Giving her a kiss goodbye every morning as she heads off to school.
*Making her lunch for school and, sometimes, including notes to motivate and encourage her.

The list goes on and on! More than anything, though, I'm simply going to miss her presence. I'm determined to do the best I know how to keep it all together for Brittany's sake. I know how excited she is about finding her own way in this world and I will love and support her every step of the way. So, for now, I'm holding on tight as this rollercoaster called LIFE takes me through dips, turns, and loops. However, just maybe there will come a day when I'm able to loosen my grip...and LET GO!