On An Emotional Rollercoaster!

The reality is beginning to hit me square in the face...Brittany will be graduating from high school in only 8 short months. Try as I might, there is nothing I can do to stop it. Time marches on.

This week, I've spent a huge amount of time filling out athletic recruiting forms for her. This Saturday after her meet, in fact, we'll be meeting with the head cross country coach at a university here in Georgia to discuss a possible athletic scholarship. Though I'm super excited about it...part of me still wishes it wasn't so. I want to just bury my head in the sand. Ahh...if it were only that easy, but that isn't how you deal with LIFE. You have to face things head on...and with a lot of faith, support, and perseverance, you're able to accept and deal with whatever LIFE throws your way.

Yesterday, I sent in the order for Brittany's yearbook ad. Over the past few days, I've looked through piles of photos in an attempt to find the perfect ones to put in the yearbook. The memories came flooding back. The day I brought her home from the hospital and how escstatic I was to, finally, be a mother! Oh, and then there was her first dance recital and how she looked like a little angel up on that stage. There were pictures of Christmases, vacations, birthday parties, and so much more. That was a hard enough task, but then I had to write a 50-word paragraph to go along with them. How do you possibly compile all of your feelings and emotions for your child into one small paragraph? Every time I attempted to put words to paper, the tears began to flow and I'd have to stop and compose myself. All sorts of raw emotions came to the surface. Have I told her enough over the years how proud I am of her and how much she means to me? Have I given her enough hugs, kisses, and pats on the back? OK, see...I'm crying, again! The logical side of me knows that this is really only the beginning of many wonderful things that will happen. However, the emotional side of me isn't ready to let go...not yet...not now...not EVER! I can promise you that this journey I'm now on is one of the hardest things I've ever been faced with, and I've been through a lot in my life. Then to think that I'll have it to do all over, again, when Abby graduates in only 5 short years!

As I sit here, I think about all the things I'm going to miss the most when Brittany goes away to college...
*Her infectious laughter and her silly sense of humor.
*Our early morning talks before school.
*Making sure she's awake every morning, even if it is 5:15 AM.
*Hearing her bolt in the house after practice asking, "Hey, Mom, what are we having for dinner?"
*Having her come to me for advice.
*Going shopping together and out to lunch. She loves Chick Fil-A as much as I do!
*Cheering her on at cross country and track meets.
*Giving her a kiss goodbye every morning as she heads off to school.
*Making her lunch for school and, sometimes, including notes to motivate and encourage her.

The list goes on and on! More than anything, though, I'm simply going to miss her presence. I'm determined to do the best I know how to keep it all together for Brittany's sake. I know how excited she is about finding her own way in this world and I will love and support her every step of the way. So, for now, I'm holding on tight as this rollercoaster called LIFE takes me through dips, turns, and loops. However, just maybe there will come a day when I'm able to loosen my grip...and LET GO!