Breakups and Makeups

Whoever said that parenting a teenager is easy was wrong, wrong, WRONG!!! In fact, it's probably one of the hardest, most exhausting tasks I've ever taken on. Oh, where shall I begin?

Do you remember my mentioning about a month ago when Brittany was on her official visit in Alabama and how her boyfriend of 9 months broke up with her via text message? She was completely devastated, to say the least. In fact, it just almost ruined her entire weekend. Talk about his impeccable timing! I hate to say this, but he's a very clingy person and my feeling is that the very thought of Brittany visiting a college out-of-state and her having fun was more than he could stand. So, as the saying goes, "Misery loves company" and he decided to break up with her and make her as miserable as he was feeling. Well, it worked like a charm because that's exactly how she felt.

When she got home, he asked for his class ring back, which she gladly returned. As time went by, she was beginning to feel much better about being 'single', again. Several boys were showing interest in her now that she was "back on the market". Life was GOOD! Then, she got asked out by a boy who plays baseball at her high school He was such a gentleman! Do you know that he asked if he could come inside to meet Chris and me? What boy does that these days? He walked in and extended his hand and introduced himself, then took Brittany to lunch at Longhorn's. She said he opened every door for her and really treated her nicely. Problem is...she felt absolutely no attraction towards him. Abby and I were so disappointed!

Then, she started liking a boy in one of her classes. Problem with him is that he's her ex-boyfriend's best friend. Believe me, I know! They flirted back and forth for about a week or so and decided to meet at a local park on Friday to go for a run together. She was so excited! Well, about the time she met up with him, she got a text message from her ex saying that he still had strong feelings for her and that he felt he made a wrong decision. Oh, boy. Needless to say, her meeting with that boy didn't go so well because she shared the text message with him and he told Brittany that he couldn't date her because he was Patrick's best friend. She came home in tears and things went south from that point on.

On Sat., I took Brittany and her best friend prom dress shopping in South Carolina. Everything went great...we had such a good time and we were successful! On Sat. night, Brittany started getting more text messages from her ex saying that he still loved her and wanted to see if there was a chance for them. So, she decided to meet up with her best friend at Starbucks to talk it out. Little did I know until the next day that she met with her ex after she finished with her friend at Starbucks. She confided in me that Patrick cried in front of her because he said he didn't intend for them to, actually, break up. He said he was just concerned that we were going to be moving sooner than what we are and he didn't want to get hurt in the process. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!!

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon. Well, Patrick continued to text her and spill out his feelings for her. She, finally, told me that she was beginning to think they had made a big mistake about breaking up. Oh, no...here we go, again! Remember...they had split up once before and got back together. So, she met him last night for about an hour, against my better judgement. When she got home, she was all giddy...and I knew. Yes, they've decided to give their relationship another try. I am not happy about it, at all. I don't welcome all the drama this is bound to bring back into our home. My heart tells me she's making a big mistake...and I can't give her my blessing. I love my daughter with all my heart and I will ALWAYS be here for her, but there comes a point in time now that she's an adult where she has to live with the consequences of her actions. My gut tells me that she's going to end up at square one, again, and will soon be complaining about how Patrick never takes her out on 'real' dates and doesn't want to get to know any of her friends, etc. Why she thinks she can change him, I will never know. The day he broke my daughter's heart was the day my claws came out! I am very protective of my girls and anyone who hurts them is no friend of mine. She deserves much better. As much as I want to scream and shout, I'm just going to sit back and watch everything unfold...and PRAY!!!

For those of you who don't have teenagers yet...ENJOY it while you can! When your kids become teenagers, you're suddenly as dumb as a brick in their eyes. People assure me that when they turn about 21 or 22, it's as if the light bulb comes on and they suddenly realize that you knew way more than they ever gave your credit for. Let's all hope that's the case! :)

"Hmmm! Teenagers! They think they know everything. You give them an inch and they swim all over you!"~Sebastian, The Little Mermaid

My Life Is A Comic Strip!

I have a wonderful family life and, for that, I'm extremely grateful. We have lots of fun, love, and laughter...BUT, there are days when I feel like beating my head against a concrete wall (well, not REALLY!). Why, you might ask? Simply put...I'm the mother of a 17 year old! I never want to give anyone the impression that my life is perfect and that I never storm out of the room in a huff, because it isn't, and I do! I've been around plenty of women who paint such a rosy picture of their life. You know the ones! Their kids are A+ students in every subject, and they never disobey, talk sassy, or challenge the rules....or so they say! It's as if they're the updated version of "The Brady Bunch"...Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! Well, not me...I'm going to lay it on the line, right here and now!

Ever since Brittany became a teenager, I've been able to relate to a comic strip called "Zits". Are you familiar with it? It's about a teenage boy named Jeremy, and his parents, and all they go through on his quest to grow up. I, in fact, have a "Zits" desk calendar by my kitchen sink that the girls, ironically, gave me for Christmas. It's like therapy for the soul whenever I read it. I just stand there, chuckle to myself, and nod my head from side to side in total agreement. It hits the nail on the head every single time! So, I thought I'd share a few of my favorites with you to illustrate some points of what life with a teenager is REALLY like...

I present EXHIBIT #1:
Yes, having your teenager learn to drive is quite an experience! I have never had my life pass before my eyes so many times! LOL! I still am a nervous wreck riding in the car with Brittany behind the wheel...and she's a good driver! I, usually, have a death grip on the door handle just in case I might want to make a quick exit!

EXHIBIT #2:

Brittany's idea of organization and MY idea of organization are at opposite ends of the spectrum! She thinks I'm a "neat freak"; I just prefer to have everything in it's place. She, on the other hand, can't seem to find a paper she's written for days on end! Point made!

EXHIBIT #3:
Life as I knew it as a kid came to a screeching halt with the invention of cell phones. Back in "my day", we, actually, used to call and talk to people on the phone! Imagine that! There was, also, a cord attached to it that was about 10 ft. long, allowing me to walk from room to room. Now, it's all about texting from sun up to sun down! Would you believe that Brittany's current boyfriend asked her to the prom in a text message? You got it! In his defense, he did, eventually, ask her in person. I think teenagers these days have almost lost the ability to communicate "normally"...you know, using words that you actually speak!

EXHIBITS #4 and #5:


In a teenager's mind, parents are completely CLUELESS! We lack common sense and good decision-making abilities. They seem to think we grew up in the Stone Age! I can't tell you the times that Brittany has told me, "Mom, you don't know what it's like to be a teenager!" Hellooo! Well, my precious cherub, you have no clue what it is to be a parent! Never a dull moment!

EXHIBIT #6: The really good thing about having a teenager in the house, if there is one (HEE HEE!) is that they embarrass really easily! I think that's especially true of girls. Chris and I both seize every opportunity we can to cause Brittany AND Abby to cringe. I don't know...maybe it's called PAYBACK! LOL!

Now, just some words of advice for those of you who've yet to enter the brave new world of raising a teenager:

1. If you have a teenage daughter, be sure you give her about a 2 hr. notice before you plan to leave the house. I can guarantee you that it will take her every bit of that amount of time to get herself ready! Brittany often has what she calls "makeup malfunctions", so she has to start the process all over, again. Chris just LOVES when that happens! LOL!
2. If you want to converse with your teenager about something...send them a text message! It gets their attention much faster than the "old-fashioned way"! :)
3. Never lose your sense of humor or you'll go right off the deep-end! I've been teetering on the edge for awhile now!
4. Constantly remind yourself that this stage won't last forever...unless, of course, they end up living at home with you until they're middle aged!
5. Get as much sleep as you possibly can now because when you're waiting up at night for them to arrive home safely, 8 hours of sleep will soon be a thing of the past!
6. PRAY for direction, understanding, and lots of patience...you're gonna need it!

In all reality, I'm sure you know that I wouldn't trade Brittany for anything (well, most days!). Oh, and to think I'm about to do it all, again, with Abby in only 6 months when she turns 13! The horror of it all! Just kidding, girls...I love ya!

"Raising teenagers is like nailing Jello to a tree."~Unknown Author

P.S. Don't forget to enter my giveaway below...it ends tomorrow! Thanks to all of you for participating! The response has been fantastic! Also, my sweet friend, Tonya over at Safe In His Arms is having a giveaway, too, for a $25 gift card to a place of your choice from the list she's provided. So, get on over there and enter...don't delay!

I'm A MEAN MOM...And Proud Of It!!!!

Care if I vent just a little? Please bear with me, as I have a few things to get off my chest. Here goes nothing!! Brittany, you know how much I love you...but you do give me a lot of great blogging material!

OK, so here's the deal. Last night, if you can believe it, Andrew actually took Brittany out to dinner. Yes, you heard me! Shocking, I know, but it was his 17th birthday. Oh, I was so excited, I could barely sleep a wink the night before! (cough, cough)

Anyhow, Andrew told Brittany that he would pick her up at 5:30. First of all, let me just say that we don't normally allow Brittany to go out on dates during the school week. She has so much on her plate with getting up at 5:15 AM, going to school all day, running 6-8 miles after school at cross country practice, doing homework, etc. Plus, she has to manage to eat sometime and take a shower! I'm sure you get the picture. Secondly, every single time Andrew picks Brittany up to go somewhere, he is ALWAYS 10-20 mins. late. Drives us crazy!! On top of that, the boy can't call her and let her know that he's running behind. She always has to call him and find out what's taking him so long.

So, back to the story! Lo and behold...5:30 rolled around...no Andrew. I told Brittany that I had a feeling he was going to be late. Sure enough, at 5:45, she called him and he said he'd be there in 5 mins. So, he picked her up at 5:50 and they were on their way. Let me just say that when I agreed to allowing her to go out to dinner with Andrew, I made it very clear that they were to go the restaurant, eat dinner, and come home. Brittany even told me that Andrew invited her over to his house to have cake, afterwards, but she told him she couldn't because she had a project to work on. I said that was a very good decision.

Well, around 7:15...no Brittany and Andrew. I sent her a text that said, "Where are you? You need to get HOME!" I don't want to invade her space too much by actually calling her. I got no response...then I saw them walking to the front door at 7:20. Mind you, they'd had a whole hour and a half to spend together and celebrate Andrew's birthday!

So, I'm thinking they'd take a few minutes to declare their undying love for one another and say their goodbyes. Well, 7:45 rolled around and I was trying to fix something on the computer (scary, I know!), so I sent Abby downstairs to tell Brittany to come in the house NOW. She had to do it twice, in fact, before Brittany finally came inside at close to 8:00.

Well, good ol' Mom was not a HAPPY CAMPER. You have to understand that each and every time Brittany and Andrew go out, he always brings her home at the time we say BUT, they sit out on the front porch for anywhere from 30 mins. to an hour talking. Drives us BONKERS!! I mean, it doesn't just happen once in a blue moon, but every single time!! For some reason, it isn't clicking in those teenaged brains of theirs that curfew means the time to be in the house, not standing outside for an eternity!

So, with Chris out of town, I made the decision to ground Brittany from going out with Andrew the entire weekend. The only time she can see him is at the cross country meet tomorrow, which is unavoidable. A weekend without Andrew? Oh, how shall I ever survive? :) When I laid the law down, Brittany complained that I'm treating her like she's 12 years old. Well, until she and Andrew learn to read a clock, that's how it's going to be! Let's see, when the little hand is on the 7 and the big hand is on the 12...

Yes, Brittany wasn't very happy with me. Before she went to bed, though, she gave me the longest, tightest hug ever. She apologized for not listening to me and said she'd work hard to do better. Oh, how I wanted to say that she wasn't really grounded, afterall...but I held firm! I love my girls with all my heart and soul and they are two great kids, no doubt. Chris and I are very fortunate. Thank the Good Lord above! Nonetheless, I think that as a parent, you can't put your desire to be their best friend above being their parent. I'm a firm believer that kids need boundaries.

Trust me, for those of you who don't already know, having a teenager requires lots of patience, understanding, and a good sense of humor. Plus, it often makes you realize that your parents knew way more than you gave them credit for when you were growing up.

So, I guess I've earned the title of MEAN MOM and I must admit...I'm pretty proud of it! :)