Remembering Kev

Ten years may seem like a long time to most people, but to me, it feels almost like yesterday. On July 9th, 2002, my older brother, Kevin (Kev, as I called him), lost his battle with stomach cancer. He fought a valiant fight for as long as his broken body could take the beating. Being that our mom had passed away two years before, his heart longed to be reunited with her, again.

I have so many warm memories of my brother. Kev was almost 10 years older than me, but that never seemed to deter our ability to have a very close relationship. As a young girl, I practically idolized him. I remember him taking me for a ride on his motorcycle and popping a wheelie when I was about 9 years old. About scared me half to death, but I thought my brother was, oh, so cool! I recall coming home from school and he'd be watching Star Trek. I'd call out to Mom and demand that she make Kev turn the channel to Gilligan's Island...which she did. I kind of feel bad about it now because I'm sure he must have felt like I always got my way since I was the baby of the family. He was probably right.

We went through a period of time when I was in my late teens when we lost connection with each other...in an emotional sense. He was going through a rocky marriage that ended in divorce and I was trying to "find myself", so to speak. It wasn't until I became married that out relationship got back on the right track, again. You see, Kev is the one who set me up on a blind date with Chris. Can you believe it? Had it not been for my brother, I might not have been happily married for nearly 23 years. I sometimes wonder if that one was of his missions here on earth before the Good Lord called him HOME.

Kev was the type of person I knew I could always depend on. He would call me nearly every day when he got off work and we'd chat non-stop like two little old ladies in a hair salon. I told him some of my deepest secrets and I knew that all was safe with him. Boy, could he ever make me laugh! We shared some of the best belly laughs ever! I loved to kid with him and he did with me, as well. He was a terrific listener and advice giver. I gained a love of nature from seeing him appreciate the little things in every day life...the beauty of a sunset, a butterfly landing on a flower, a rainbow painted across the sky. He taught me to SLOW DOWN and to drink it all in. Above all else, he had such an incredible heart. He was giving, forgiving, and loved his family so very much.

Hardly a day goes by that I don't think about my brother. I can't help but feel a little robbed that he was taken from me all too soon. However, I have the assurance that he knew how much I loved and cherished him and his friendship. I'm incredibly thankful for the time we spent together and for the memories we made. As long as I live, I will never forget Kev and all that he meant to me.

What Will They Remember?

Yesterday marked the 7-year anniversary of my brother's death. I woke up early in the morning with him on my mind. Later on, Abby and I had to take care of a few errands and the song "Seven Bridges Road" by the Eagles came on the radio. I told Abby that it made me think of Kevin because I'd heard him play it on his guitar many times. He was a big Eagles' fan, and because of him, I am, too. So, as we were driving along, I sang it out loud in his memory...my brother and dear friend. When the song ended, I mumbled, "I love ya, Kev."...and I believe he was listening. Seven years have gone by in a flash. Early on, the pain of losing him was almost unbearable. Now, I've reached that point where thinking of him makes me smile and laugh, and I'm able to talk about his silly ways and his heart of gold without breaking down in a heap of tears. That's the way grief AND healing work. It takes time and plenty of faith.

This whole concept of life and loss makes me think about A LOT of things. I don't intend to sound morbid, but I can't help but wonder what people will say about me when I'm nothing but a memory. I certainly don't expect an outpouring like Michael Jackson has received! After all, I'm just an ordinary person whose name will never be illuminated by marquis lights. I've never discovered the cure for anything. My grandest invention? I don't think I even have one. I've never written my first novel, unless all of my journals count for something. I'm definitely not known for my dancing skills, though I can do a mean robot (in my mind, anyway!).

So, all of this leaves me scratching my head and asking,...Will I be remembered for some of the crazy antics I pulled just to get a laugh? Will people say that I was a good human being who truly cared about others? Will they see the desires of my heart to be a loving wife, mother, sister, friend, and Christian? Will they understand that I cared nothing about perfection, but only tried hard to do my best and to learn something from every situation I was faced with? Have YOU ever given it much thought? What do you want people to remember about you when you're long gone?

“Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But, you never forget them.
It's those memories that give us the faith to go on."~Author Unknown

How Do I Spell L-O-V-E?

Suzanne over at Coloradolady is hosting a photography meme each Wednesday for the month of February, so I thought I'd participate! Each person is supposed to post a photo(s) that tells a story and represents what they think about love.

Well, my girls definitely make me think of LOVE! This picture was taken on Mother's Day about 2 years ago when we took a trip to the north Georgia mountains for a picnic and some hiking. The girls planted a big kiss on me when we had stopped by a stream for lunch! I just LOVE this picture!
I LOVE the outdoors and spending time with my hubby! Here we are with some friends that we met through Chris' former employer. We took a company trip to Vail, CO. a few summers ago and we went on a bike tour down a very steep mountain! We were flying...and we weren't wearing helmets. Not smart, I know! Oh, to feel the breeze blowing in my hair was amazing! We stopped by the road to take this picture. I LOVE the mountains and the clean air...so refreshing!

I LOVE to see my girls having fun together and acting silly! I had them out in the backyard a year or so ago and attempted to take some nice photos of them. Of course, as you can see, they seized the moment to ham it up in front of the camera! Never a dull moment...but, I wouldn't have it any other way!
I LOVE music and my brother, Kevin, taught me how to really appreciate it...especially classic rock. Here he is doing one of the things that he loved best...playing the guitar. He never learned how to read music, but he taught himself to play simply by listening to a song and plucking out the chords until it all came together. He was diagnosed with cancer not long after this picture was taken. What I'd give to hear the sound of him playing his guitar just one more time!

I really must share with you the kind of night I had last night. The girls went to bed and I sat up watching TV and reading until about 10:15 PM. Well, just a few minutes after I turned off the lights, the electricity went out...our ceiling fan stopped, so that's how I knew. I got up and took a peek out our bedroom window and our entire neighborhood, as far as my eyes could see, was pitch black! It was extremely windy, so I'm sure that had something to do with it.

Well, as usual, when things go awry, Chris is out of town! So, I fumbled around in the bedroom trying to find my way to the door. Of course, Bella is hopping all over the floor thinking it's play time! I managed to find my way downstairs and open the basement door...I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, it's only a blown fuse (I know...it was wishful thinking on my part!). Well, I tried to turn on the basement light and NOTHING! Nada, zip, zilch!!! By this time, my feet are freezing and I'm beginning to worry about keeping warm through the night with the dropping temps!

I make my way back up to the bedroom and I hear a very loud chirping noise. I knew immediately that it was our downstairs smoke detector. A couple of weeks ago, it started chirping in the middle of the night...drove me bonkers! Chris got up the next morning and had to reset it. It caused the alarm to sound and it was loud enough to wake the dead!

I, finally, ended up calling Chris on my cell phone in a frenzy telling him I was afraid the girls and I wouldn't survive the cold winter's night without electricity. The temp dropped down to 16 degrees...I am no pioneer woman! I like the conveniences of modern-day life. I must admit, the panic mode had set in, which I think he found to be pretty hilarious. I explained to him the predicament I was in and told him about the smoke detector. He said for me to go down to the basement and find his flashlight and ladder. So, I grabbed my cell phone and held it so that it lighted my way. I found the flashlight and ladder and made it back upstairs. I called Chris, again, so he could walk me through everything. I told him that I got up on the ladder and there were two buttons on the smoke detector...which should I push? He told me to try the button that wasn't the test button, first. I did...and it wasn't even a button, just a little light that wasn't illuminating. I got back on the phone with him and he instructed me to push the test button and to be prepared for it to sound. Up on the ladder, again, I went and nervously pushed the button. I thought my eardrums were going to explode with that high frequency noise...OUCH! Sure enough, it woke Abby and she leaned over the upstairs banister and asked what was going on. I gave her a quick rundown and told her to head back to bed that Mom had everything under control! Yeah, sure!

I went back upstairs and walked in the bedroom and the electricity came back on! Thank the Good Lord! I called Chris back to tell him I had "fixed" everything, then crawled back into bed...it was 11:15 PM. I fell back to sleep and at about 1:00 AM, the electricity went off, again! I lay there hoping and praying it would come back on so I didn't have to get up and go through all of that, again! Sure enough, a few minutes later, it was back on! Of course, I didn't sleep much the rest of the morning because I was afraid my alarm didn't get reset correctly and it wouldn't go off. However, at 5:15 AM, it did and I wanted so badly to roll over and go back to sleep...I'm so pooped! Looks like today, I'm going to have to find a few minutes for a little catnap to get caught up from all the sleep I lost. It was a very LONG night! Poor pitiful me! :)

Anyhow, I hope your Wednesday is AWESOME...do something YOU love today! ♥