Walking Down Memory Lane

Memories are a funny thing, you know?  Depending on the mood, they can evoke feelings of happiness, sadness, elation, melancholy, you name it.  Well, a few nights before Brittany left to head back to college, I suggested to the girls that I open up my hope chest and we'd read some of the diaries I've kept since I was in the 5th grade.  I became particularly dedicated about keeping journals when I got pregnant with Brittany back in 1991. I have journals that tell about my 2 miscarriages and what we had to go through to conceive Abby. Of course, I've continued keeping journals all throughout their growing up years.

So, the three of us sat down on the floor of my bedroom and I gave each of the girls their own pile of journals. They both dove right in and began reading what I'd written about them.  Many things they didn't even remember happening, like when Abby had to pull a clip in first grade for talking in class or when she said I was a "bad mommy" at the ripe old at of 2.

                              

Brittany thought it was hilarious when she read where I described the night I went into labor with her and my water broke...it sounded like a cork shooting out of a champagne bottle!  Oh, and let us not forget the temper tantrum she threw in Target when she was about 4 years old because I refused to buy her a Barney book.  Hmm...maybe I was a rotten mommy, afterall!
 

One of the journals I picked up to read caught me completely off-guard. I had written about my second miscarriage and how I had miscarried in the middle of the night when Chris was out of town on business.  My mom and dad drove from Arkansas the next day to be with me and my mom shared with me that on the night I miscarried, she was awakened in the middle of the night by my voice calling out to her saying, "Mom!"  That was difficult to relive, but it goes to show the deep connection we had between us.

The girls and I shared a lot of laughs that night and, yes, even a few tears.  I think they're finally starting to realize how much of a treasure my journals will be to them one day.  They'll be a way of keeping the past alive, in their minds and in their hearts.