I know some of you questioned why the girls' parents were charging $15 pp for the before and after party. Well, they're providing food and they're renting casino games for the kids to play. I've never heard of anything like that, but, apparently, they're each going to be given fake money to play Blackjack, Roulette, etc. Yes, and you are right...what parents are going to stay up with those kids ALL NIGHT LONG? I don't think so! I know I would be nodding off around midnight...if not earlier! There's just a feeling inside of me that says "follow your heart". I have to believe that it's God speaking to me. We've already told her that the all-night sleepover is not going to happen, but she continues to try to break us down. We're holding strong! I'll keep you updated! Thanks, again!
36 comments:
Oh I missed the part about the all night sleep over. NO WAY! Why do people let their kids do anything and everything they want? I don't understand. We are the parents and it is our job to set the boundaries. Stick to your guns and do what is right for your family!
It's not easy being a parent, is it? Is it possible that Brittany could go for a few hours? That would be a nice compromise. I know that I would definitely say that all night is OUT! No parent is going to be up all night! Crazy... It's nice that they want to host, but what an undertaking! sigh...You are such a good Mom. Stay strong- you know what's best!:) Lori
Hang in there April. Stay firm in your beliefs. Perhaps if enough parents are saying no way, the hosting parents will realize that perhaps this isn't such a good idea after all.
Okay...I am back!
I know people say it's Prom! However, when she is in college and it's an all nighter...would you want her to? NO!
Same as prom~ there is no need...you never know the intent of any boy...best family...best kid...they make wrong decisions too!
I say go for the limo...go for the $15 black jack night...but no overnight.
April...hang in there! I feel sorry for you...I can feel your gray hair popping out right now!
Okay..I have to get something done in this house...I have a field trip with my daughter to the barn...don't you wish you were doing "barn" things not "prom" things! I do right now.
Sandy toe
Oh April hang in there I feel your pain!
Carrie
If you truly feel that in your heart, then you go with that!! She'll understand in the end...
Truly, prom is a bigger deal in the mind then it is in real life - maybe after the dinner, & dance, she'll realize its not a biggie that she doesnt get to stay the night.
Bless...
Having little ones I feel that I can't give advice or inspirational wisdom. lol
But usually the "gut feeling" speaks volumes.
((hugs))
Stay Strong April...she will thank you later...and remind her it is one night out of her entire life...go out to eat...go to prom...enjoy...I bet you will find out after the all night party some of the kids wish they hadn't gone...
Since you don't know the parents and don't know if there will be LOTS of chaperones, I would say no way!! Could she go for just a while and then come home? Have some kind of curfew?
We have several billboards around our area right now that say Abstinance (sp?)...it's your prom not your wedding night. It shows a girl in her prom dress dancing away.......
It is a hard decision to make and if you knew the parent's then it might be a little easier...but as I have been often reminded MANY times, anything that they could do after midnight, they can do before midnight, so since she is showing good sense about the cost of the meal and limo ride AND if you trust her boyfriend as she will be in his care, then I might say yes. It is a question that has many different variables to it.
Also, it is proven that older children who have been given a little reign in their late teen years do better than children who have not.
She might get there, decide it is really lame, and come home!
;0)
My husband and I are in the same situation our daughter is 17 only she graduates in June. She will not turn 18 until she has been in college for about 1 1/2 months.
They don't seem to understand, regardless of how they feel about things, that anything can happen.
A group of her frineds are getting ready to have a senior camp out (overnight) and I am hesitant to let her go, it's that age thing again, but ours is a 2 sided sword, she will be graduating in 4 weeks and I will have to let up on the reigns quite a bit. All I can do now is pray that God keeps her safe. We've raised her with good/strong values. I now as she ventures off she'll make mistakes, it's part of life- I just pray they're very fixable mistakes.
Sorry I started rambling. Stick to your guns mom :)
Another cool thing is when she is a senior in college, she won't have a 4 year old tugging at her feet wanting to play.
That will come later.
You have my support April!!
Hi April ~ I totally missed part 1 and just read it! I'm with ya on the no sleeping over bit. My son is 18 and going to prom this year. Since he's 18, it really hard to let go, but I know he's a good kid. When my daughter went (she's 20 now), all the girls (just girls) slept over afterwards. That in itself, about drove me nuts! Good luck with everything. Mark paid for his tux, so I didn't have to fork over any money. I remember the days when renting one was about $50, his cost $185..sheesh!
Hugz,
Michele
When I went to my prom, my parents told me to be home by eleven.
I tried to break them down, too. They didn't budge. And I hated them for it.
When my daughter goes to prom, she'll have to be home by eleven, too. And she'll try to break me down. And I won't budge. And she'll hate me for it.
But like me, she'll understand one day.
And your daughter will understand, too.
Stay strong. That's a horrible idea. You could offer to chaperone! I'm sure that would change her mind about going for sure! :)
Encouraging kids to gamble? I don't like that at all. I support you in your decision not to let her attend overnight. I am with you all the way.
Lindsay
Hi April, I'm chiming in a little late here, but I want you to know I totally support you.
Len and I made a decision about this kind of situation before our children ever entered high school and that was that they would not be allowed to attend co-ed sleepover parties. They all knew it loud and clear. Same for unsupervised co-ed spring breaks at beach or lake houses. It wasn't fun being the "mean" parents, but looking back we have no regrets and our kids don't seem to have been "damaged for life," and now that they're in college and beyond they are able to start seeing it from our perspective.
We also had our share of the big party groups for prom where the cost kept escalating and my kids opted out or joined in with a group that was doing something more in line with our budge. It is possible to have a lovely meal in a restuarant where other patrons may be wearing shorts!!
My prayers are with you sweetie.
Just like you said, April, follow your heart! If you think God is telling you not to let her then I would be still and listen to him!!!
We have let our girls do this their Jr. & Sr. years but we knew the parents and felt very comfortable with it. If I had a bad feeling I never would have let them.
I'll pray for you.
Go with your heart. Some relatives of ours, teenage girls, were at a party where alcohol ended up coming out. Before you knew it the police were involved and these young people were suspended from their spring sports.
It all started off very innocently, but a few of the teenagers brought alcohol and although the majority was not drinking (or this was quite possibly the case) it still went south.
Personal story before I was 17 I had never had a drop of alcohol and totally didn't intend to. The socializing I did was not at drinking parties and I didn't desire going that route. Well, I met different people doing different things and I drank a few times.Even got drunk a few times while still in highschool. I had Jesus in my heart, I had walked the straight and narrow but once I got off that path, it was hard to get back on. So, as the guilt set in I found myself hanging out with people who didn't hold me accountable... but helped me not feel so guilty. Not good. Thankfully my mom was a faithful, patient CHRISTIAN woman and she taught me right so I ended up getting back on the right path... but things happen!! Ok, that was really heavy and maybe a little TMI! But, I would be cautious.
I'll pray. Michele
Stay strong A. Your doing the right thing. Shes just too young to understand now, but later she will thank you.
Dont forget as soon as prom is over she will forget that she didnt even go.
Love and Prayers,
Tim
I will be there with you and my prayers will be always there with you.
greetings.
April,
I really think you should stay strong on this. As soon as I read the part about blackjack, roulette, etc. I thought to myself that would be a big fat NO! I was raised in a household where any kind of gambling (whether with real money or fake) was wrong. It has to do with another family member and is a LONG story. I think you are doing the right thing!
I think these co ed sleepovers after prom have become pretty common. Yes, you do have to trust your gut, but also realize that what ever you think you might be preventing will inevitably happen regardless of this function. (Did that come out wrong?)
You're doing the right thing! Hang tough, Mama!
Stand strong girl! You're doing the right thing.
So glad to catch up with you, friend...and all your teenage drama :) Stick to your guns, my friend!! Praying for you both....
Oh my goodness, April!! We really do have so much in common don't we girl!?!? I swear I could of wrote this EXACT same post just two weeks ago.
But Like Sheryl, Katelyn (AKA "Miss Priss") is also a Senior but like Sheryl's daughter will not turn 18 until the end of September. So, Katelyn has a hard time seeing that most of her friends are almost a whole year older than her. So, where most of their parents allow certain things because they are 18, we may not!!But of course we are just being mean and trying to ruin her life.
I know what you are going thru is hard....TRUST ME!!!! The costs of everything that goes with Prom plus all of the "exception to the rules" that the girls are wanting us to make....is it very overwhelming.
I wish I could say that I "stuck to my guns" but I didn't. "Big Daddy" and I caved and gave in. We ended up letting her go to the overnight sleepover (also co-ed). Did we make the right decision?!?!? I am not sure...
But just rememeber that you aren't in this alone!! And that I know EXACTLY how you are feeling so if you want to talk, you can email me at southpaw8117@yahoo.com
Good luck...and remember I will be thinking about you!!
BIG hugs!! Carrie♥
April - I know it has to be hard saying no to your daughter. This definitely isn't the "fun" mom stuff - but I believe you have made the right decision! hang in there!!!
Now, maybe just because I am a teeny bit younger than you April, I don't think it would bother me too much! I mean, I hope that I would have raised my kid well enough to make the right decisions. Sometimes my parents used to let me do things that were a little bit questionable just to see what I would do. And you know what, I always did the right thing in the end.
But that is just my quick take since I didn't read the beginning. Let me go and read it and maybe I will completely change my mind : ).
((hugs))
Jen
All I can say is that NOTHING good ever comes from these all nighters! EVER!! There will be drama, and fights, alcohol will "appear", etc etc etc. Who needs to be a part of that???
Hold your ground April!!!
She's a teen; she's supposed to rebel, pout, fuss, and push for her own way, but her brain is not fully developed. She is not capable of making decisions on her own. You must think for her. I know it's touchy. I know that life is probably miserable at your house right now, but I know you'll do what is best for her.
HAND TOUGH!
April, I agree with Sally. And should teenagers be gambling? It's one thing for adults, but teens? I don't like the sound of that party. I can't imagine that all of the other parents are supporting this. Surely there are some of their other friends' parents who have put their foot down, too. Expensive restaurants I can understand a little more (it's a special night that comes around once a year for a short time in a child's life), but I don't understand the sleepover.
XO,
Sheila
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