Thursday, December 11, 2008

A Little Christmas Humor...

I thought this was hilarious, so I just had to share it with all of you. Erma's response sure makes me think of myself! Have a good laugh on me!

Martha Stewart's Christmas Letter to Erma Bombeck:

Hi Erma,

This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then, to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from DNA that I had just sitting around in my craft room. By then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard Stewart twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to make the tables and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand.

Before I moved the table into the dining room I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling.While the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast. These were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get at almost any Hungarian craft store.Well, I must run. I need to finish the hand-sewn buttonholes on the dress I'm wearing for breakfast. I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making.

Hope my breakfast guests don't stay too long. I have 40,000 cranberries to string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. It's a good thing.

Love,
Martha

P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch gold gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries which I grew, picked, and crushed last week just for fun.

Response from Erma Bombeck:

Dear Martha:

I'm writing this on the back of an old shopping list. Pay no attention to the coffee and jelly stains. I'm 20 minutes late getting my daughter off for school, packing a lunch with one hand-on the phone with the dog pound, seems old Ruff needs bailing out again. Burnt my arm on the curling iron when I was trying to make those cute curly fries, how DO they do that? Still can't find the scissors to cut out some snowflakes, tried using an old disposable razor . . . trashed the tablecloth. Tried that cranberry thing; frozen cranberries mushed up after I defrosted them in the microwave. Oh, and don't use Fruity Pebbles as a substitute in that Rice Krispies snowball recipe unless you like food that resembles puke! Smoke alarm is going off, talk to ya later.

Love,
Erma

Isn't that just the best??? So, which one do you resemble the most, Martha or Erma...come on, be honest now!

April
April

Hello, I'm April, welcome to my blog. I look at every day as an adventure and an opportunity to laugh and to learn. You will soon discover that my family and my faith are at the heart of who I am.

27 comments:

Denise said...

This cracked me up, and I definitely resemble Erma,lol

Daphine said...

Too funny! Can I say that I resemble both equally that is? lol!

Happy Thursday friend!

Darlene said...

Without a doubt Erma!!!! That was so funny!!!

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

That was so funny!!!

I think I'm a mix of the two! I don't make my own glue but I do make envelope a lot.

Anonymous said...

That is too funny! I think I would resemble Erma more. I am not crafty so I am definitely not Martha! :o)

Unknown said...

Hi April,
That is so cute. I think I'll print this one out-it gave me a needed chuckle!

Thanks for being such a great blogging friend.

Diane

Ruby Red Slippers said...

I am Erma, some days, for sure!!!
I don't have the patience or the time to do what Martha does!
I love that! It was soooo funny!

Shell in your Pocket said...

Well, I guess I am more Martha but I do have my Erma days more often than I want to admit. But, I don't make ribbon for my typewriter out of "grapes"..too funny!!!
Very cute!
-sandy toes

Anonymous said...

I would so love to be a little bit Martha-ish, you know, just to feel like a really, truly capable domestic goddess;) But, I'm an Erma, through and through, and in a funny kind of way, I'm ok with that... What are you, Missy Moo?... I think I know, but tell me anyways;)

Geeta said...

Thanks for stopping by =]

That's too funny - I have to say, I'd be the one who'd strive for a more low-key version of Martha... although, some things you just can't control, and it always ends up turning a pristinely perfect attempt into something imperfectly perfect (which is sometimes better!)

Debra Kaye said...

April,

I literally laughed out loud! I'm more Martha but I've had days when Erma came to visit me (especially in the kitchen)!

Happy Thursday, sweet friend.

Sharon said...

Yep! Erma for me. Thanks I needed that.

Scrapper Mom said...

Wow, you blog at 6am???? I'm impressed. I'm still snoozing at that time.

I would have to say that there is absolutely not one ounce of Martha Stewart in me!!! lol.

Heather said...

oh how funny! erma is my name, lol!

Unknown said...

I try to be Martha but probably more often am Erma!

Wendy said...

This is great!!!!!! I'm about 10% Martha 90% Erma! What are you?? I'm guessing Martha!
..x..

Robin Beck said...

I am a crazy mix of both! LOL!
Very cute~!
Robin~♥

Anonymous said...

I wish it was Martha...but it definitely is NOT : ). Curly fries with a curling iron is pretty brilliant though : ).

Lindsay-ann said...

That was so funny. It really made me smile after a difficult day!
I am a mixture of both. I would like to be more Martha but I think I am more Erma.
Lindsay

Becky said...

That is funny! I'm sure I am closer to the Erma side but I'd like to think I'm right in the middle. Thanks for the laugh.

Tiffany said...

Very funny! I'm Erma all the way.

Femin Susan said...

Hello……
That is too funny! This is amazing!! I am so glad to found your blog!
You are welcomed to my blog…….

Wishing you in advance "A Merry X'Mas and A Happy New Year''

Lorrie said...

Love it, love it. Martha strikes again!I am definitely Erma!

Anonymous said...

That is too funny. Probably Martha but my life is a little fast paced too so a little of both! How darling!

Neabear said...

I have seen these before. But it was fun to see it again and read all the comments too. I would I am 1/4 Martha and 3/4 Erma. I don't have that much energy to be a full Martha. Tires me out reading what she does.

Shelley said...

I am sooooooooooooooooooo an Erma Bombeck. I L.O.V.E. her stuff. I'm sad that she's gone. Cause I think she would have gotten me...

Georgia Girl said...

Yep I am Erma all the way! I love this!

Oh yeah saw where Stella is coming to Georgia...how cool is that...I would love to meet her...can't wait to see where she goes with you. Have fun!